I’m a firm believer that it is a healthy thing for kids to hear and accept the word no, at least some of the time. What would the world turn into if we gave in to every request our children make of us? This can be a hard thing to do sometimes but it’s a great deal easier to say no when you can’t say yes.
But what about those few times when you really really really wish you could say yes? A fantastic once in a lifetime educational opportunity comes along that would reward hard work and dedication and model behavior but is just too big that you can’t automatically say yes but you really don’t want to say no either.
I am facing this with one child who is very deserving of a wonderful opportunity, one I certainly never had, probably because I didn’t make it happen for myself. I had to look at her and without saying no told her that where there is a will there is a way but it would be a lot of hard work on her part for the next two to three years to earn and save for this dream that she’s had since this experience would cost enough that if she gave up all birthday and Christmas gifts for the next three years she would have about 1/3 of the money and is more than 1/3 of the money that we have to spend on her for the entire year if the family income used to pay mortgage, food, utilities, etc. was divided evenly per person.
Possible? With a lot of hard work and creativity… maybe. She has hope and I just don’t have the heart to squash that! So I’ll do what I can to help.
It’s easier to say no when you can’t say yes… but what about those times you really want to say yes and can’t?
Sometimes I wish parenthood had clearer, easier answers. Like, the money should magically appear, right? Or, it just isn't the right opportunity. But no. :)
ReplyDeleteI think that most people just say yes and then put it on a credit card. That doesn't seem right either.